I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
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