Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
