he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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