i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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