it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
