the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
