She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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