Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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