last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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