ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
