I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize