dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
