He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
