sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
