For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
