it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
