Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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