This girl is more easily done than said...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
