Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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