Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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