i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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