Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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