After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
