Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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