One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
