at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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