ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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