My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
