Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
