Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
