He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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