Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
