and you said cock pushups were impossible
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
