ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
