Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Ladies don't puke and tell
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
