She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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