I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
