I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
