I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
