I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
