What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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