matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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