jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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