dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
