I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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