Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
my liver is dry heaving
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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