Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
