Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
