im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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