no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
