How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
