There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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