are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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