Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Randomize
