I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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