Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
