marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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