i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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