Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
