I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
