my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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