hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Everything about him screamed your future.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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