After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
