I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
