i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
