ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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