I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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