and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
