You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
