I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Welp...herpes.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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