Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
